Be SURE

Shortly after the birth of our second daughter (that's you, Annalise!), I sat rocking her in the darkness and thinking. Marissa, our oldest, was just over 2 years old and so much about her had grown and changed in the time since her own newborn days. It was, in that moment, quite clear that my babies would not be babies forever, and that childhood and teenager-hood and adulthood were before them. It was also more clear that I was given to them not just to birth them or feed them or otherwise keep them alive, but that my role would morph with them as a mentor and a coach into these other realms of life.

Honored and earnest at the thought, I opened my heart to heaven's guidance and listened to truth unfold within me. I wanted my girls to be confident, and I wanted to live/teach that in a repeatable, habitual way. An acronym evolved in my mind, and I wrote it on my mirror to live by. I write it on my daughter's mirrors too, and allude to it whenever needed. 

Later, across many more late-night feedings and ponderings, other words came. Eventually I wrote in my journal: There are a few things I need to remember to teach my daughters about the health and well-being of their beautiful bodies.

1. You are beautiful. You have your very own characteristics different from anybody else--everything you possess is only yours!  Treat your hair and body well and focus on all your favorite aspects of yourself.  Always give yourself smiles when you look in the mirror. Everyone will look to you as an example of beauty when you are true to what is exclusively yours.
2. Watch for fads.  Don't be sucked into hairstyles or life habits just because it's the "norm" this year.  Do things because you feel they will benefit you and your purpose.  Don't be afraid to experiment, but do make choices based off of your own agenda and not that of the fashion world or friends.
3. Simplify and keep things frugal. Do not spend a lot of money or time on products for yourself.  Because God gives good gifts, what is natural is best--that includes the natural loveliness He placed in you!
4. Apply #3 to your clothing choices.  When we overwhelm ourselves with too many options, that's when we think, "I have nothing to wear."  Clean out your closet, give to someone in need, and be glad for what you have.  Keep it clean and well-maintained.  Take care of it and it will take care of you. When you do need something new, shop with a purpose.  Search until you find a good fit--something that brings out your favorite things about yourself (remember, the body you are dressing is of no small value!).  Always dress to be comfortable among friends, playing with kids, and doing your life's work.  Keep your beautiful body tastefully-covered and yours.  If you long to be "that girl" who walks into a room glammed-up and owning the crowd, then smile, love everyone, and glam-up with # 6 & 7 here.
5. Body health: along with all the growth and experiences your body gives you, we women alone have the miraculous and dignified opportunity to create and nourish life. Your body has the potential to house new life, and while this is a privilege, that purpose takes a physical toll that can be addressed while you are young.  Exercise and eat toward that purpose.  Align your mind and body with the yoga of everyday life (strive to be present, flexible, and forgiving). Strengthen your abdominals and keep yourself flexible--stretch your entire body often.  Spend a minute each day strengthening your kegels--do more once you are having children. Hold your shoulders down and your head up.  People will likely look to you as a leader because of the goodness of your soul, so take the stance.  :)
6. Along with posture, navigate in every way through life as an ambassador for good.  Stand tall, wear a peaceful smile, and look everyone in the eye (store clerks, handsome men, little children—everyone).  See into souls and interact on that level.  Be kind, give the benefit of the doubt, and know everyone you encounter is experimenting just like you.  We all have bad hair days and embarrassing moments, but life in a body is not about how we look to others.  It's about addressing our weaknesses and purifying our souls, which can only be done under Christ's personal direction, so live in a way that He will be with you.

These are my thoughts and hopes for you, but they are my own and came at the price of searching and "wrestling" with ideas until they feel real to me--and continuing to revisit and test their integrity. Your next steps are to do the same. If you're not sure where to start, here are some of the activities that got me growing in this vein. Bon voyage!

“Women of God can never be like women of the world. The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender. There are enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind. There are enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined. We have enough women of fame and fortune; we need more women of faith. We have enough greed; we need more goodness. We have enough vanity; we need more virtue. We have enough popularity; we need more purity.” —Nadauld

This post is shared as part of my life's endeavors I wish to document.