Wednesday, November 15, 2023

How Does Halloween Treat You?



October around children is often crammed with costume conversations, consumption costs (both in money and nutrition), and event management (even in a small town, there is such thing as too many parties!). As with any celebration, we may find ourselves or our children getting caught up in unreasonable spending, consuming, or perceived expectations. While these troubles can each be addressed through well-defined family intentions, what of the other consequences of the holiday? Is Halloween itself worth all the brouhaha? Here are our thoughts.


Mark and I met in a class at BYU called Music 201 by Dr. Luke Howard (whose many other accomplishments included singing second bass in the Tabernacle Choir!). According to the undergrad catalog, this course is "designed to aid non-music majors in developing skills needed for listening to music creatively." Well, as we became study partners, we did learn some skills in that class (not all of which related to music 😉)! 

First date: hike to a lake!

Our seasoned professor was insightful and I honestly did walk away from that class in 2008 with a new appreciation for classical music and art. It was also in that class that I was first confronted with a completely unrelated idea: the ethics of celebrating Halloween. Our teacher offhandedly mentioned to all of us, as the holiday approached, that his family did not celebrate it and that we may want to become more informed on the subject ourselves.

My interest was piqued. I read different histories of the holiday. Just like Christmas, I saw that Halloween has pagan roots, starting as a commemoration of the turning seasons, later adapted to serve Christian views, influencing its name (though that aspect appears to have had much less staying power). For these beginning communities, the ensuing colder, shorter days brought with them a very personal upsurge in hardship and death. As a way to cope with these difficult realities, people turned to stories and rituals (as humankind has always done) in hopes to cope with, ward off, or in some way manage the tolls taken by their unfeeling natural surroundings. Stories are powerfully meaningful and grounding, which is probably why our Savior told so many of them, and probably why the very spreading of the His gospel has largely been through the stories found in Scripture

Over time, trending stories and rituals emerged into the popular Halloween traditions we see today. Intermixed with those fairly simple roots are some truly demonic convictions and practices that are demeaning, deceiving, and destructive. After all, Christians everywhere believe that in connecting with the "spiritual world," we find strength and power and intercession in our darkest days--but that spiritual connection is through Christ alone--"I am the door: by me if any man enter in, he shall be saved, and shall go in and out, and find pasture" (John 10:9). Misled "spiritual" connection, supplication, or fascination is powerfully dark and damaging.

But looking back on my own memories--years of inventing costumes, front porch jack-o-lanterns, school festivals, swapping candy and learning by experience about managing my intake--all these were sugared memories with friends, siblings, neighbors, and strangers. There was certainly no demonic intention for us then, nor is there now.

I love this quote by Dave Ramsey: “Money is not good or evil. It has no morals or intentions on its own. Money reflects the character of the user.” In my experience, that is true of many inanimate objects or ideas. Technology, clothing, and many pastimes and traditions reflect the character of the user. They carry no intrinsic wrongness or rightness of their own. Simply because a symbol has been used for something against my values in the past, does not mean I cannot rewrite the meaning of that symbol in my life and home. That is precisely what disciples do with many symbols of Christmas, giving inspiring Christian stories and meaning to something that, at one time (and in other homes today), "means" something entirely different. 

Pumpkin Cheeseball  & crackers

Some Halloween traditions are definitely wrong to us, but our Halloween traditions play a role in our family that we both enjoy and value. As devout disciples of our Lord Jesus Christ, we do not align ourselves with anything that devalues what He embodies. Our family is guided by that principle. Devilish synergy, senseless fear, and crude dress and behavior are not any part of our lives--as amusement or otherwise! However, what others choose to do with their celebration does not tarnish our own expression of it.

 

With all the fall goodies 
to flavor our plates and homes, 
our year's bounteous harvest coming in, 
and years of cherished memories 
to build upon together, 
Halloween is a yummy time that
--in our opinion--
deserves a party!

A fresh squash from our garden makes a lovely canvas for artistic expression, and lighted candles add a solemn element of wonder and joy. 

Our imaginations relish the opportunity to get decked out as our favorite heroes, animals, or invented characters--for kids and grown-ups! We see the joy of fantasy as a truly godly gift to awaken our minds to greater vision and creativity, and that quality is wildly alive in our family's Halloween celebrations.


We watch family favorite films of overcoming or defeating fears and unknowns, and take that idea into real life when we attend "spooky" classmate parties or trunk-or-treats. 

Princess Leia, Han Solo, Yoda, Darth Vader, and two witches.

...which may end up being quite scary! 

It strikes me as pertinent that we instigate "scaring" games with our children even when they are babies: playing peek-a-boo, tossing and catching them in the air, or chasing and capturing toddlers in tickle attacks. We take it to the next level when we playfully tell our children, "Brush your teeth or the tickle monster will get you!" The idea that a looming threat is there, while required activities can keep it at bay, is an adventure few children turn down. Why? Because playing the combatant gives us courage to believe we can engage in the battles of real life. We parents play these games gently, never pushing our children to tears, yet always relishing the thrill of inventing new surprises--and challenges!--for them.

We believe this play is vital to our little ones. It teaches them to face fears while strapped into the parachute of their parents' presence, always returning safely to strong, knowing arms. Aligned with our ethics, Halloween is one way to experience another level of that game. We can see scary things, things we don't understand, things that turn out to be not what they seem, and we can overcome them. We can stand brave and strong. We can debunk myths. Of course, every adult and child will have different levels of tolerance and interest in this aspect, which should be respected, just as every family will find their own answers to the questions of this holiday.

As far as our family is concerned, there is a magical purpose in celebrating Halloween: in renaming what may be twisted by evil into something of light, hope, and joy for ourselves and those around us.


This post is shared as part of my life's endeavors I wish to document. 
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Friday, October 6, 2023

Pumpkin Pie Spice

Original recipe from the Pioneer Woman. It's that time of year: when everything needs to be laced in spices. 

Ingredients:

  • 6 T cinnamon
  • 4 t ginger
  • 4 t nutmeg
  • 3 t allspice
  • 3 t cloves
Directions:
  1. In a small mixing bowl, sift all ingredients. 
  2. Store in an 8-oz jelly jar, topped with a parmesan lid for easy access.  
  3. Use in PUMPKIN PIE, pumpkin chippers, pumpkin bread, honey oat cream cookies, pumpkin pancakes, caramel popcorn...the list is endless!

Sunday, September 3, 2023

Parmesan Patties

Pictured: Parmesan patty with hash browns seasoned with pesto. 

Original recipe from Food52.  

Ingredients:

  • 1 tub hummus (1 cup)
  • 1 onion, diced
  • 2 c fresh or frozen zucchini, cubed or shredded
  • 2 cloves garlic, minced
  • 1 c cooked quinoa (1/3 c dry)
  • 2 T mustard
  • 1 T lemon
  • 2-4 T parmesan cheese, or to taste, until thick 
  • salt and pepper to taste
  • 1 T olive oil
Directions:
  1. In a medium mixing bowl, combine all ingredients. Add extra season to taste.
  2. Heat 1 or 2 frying pans to medium low. Drizzel a thin layer of olive oil. Plop big spoonfuls onto hot pans, making about 6 patties. Pat down and shape edges into round circles.
  3. Fry 3-5 minutes on each side, misting tops with extra oil (if you have an oil sprayer) before flipping them.
  4. Serve with fried potatoes or potato wedges, sweet potato hash, macaroni and cheese, or favorite roasted winter squash.

Saturday, August 19, 2023

Personalizing a Planner (Intentional Living: Part 3)



Personal goals and priorities don't often manifest themselves without difficulty. 

Theodore Roosevelt reminds us--

"Nothing in the world 
is worth having or worth doing 
unless it means effort, pain, difficulty." 

Don't be surprised that the path to your heart's inmost desires is a demanding one.

As we uncover and prayerfully decide on our deepest aspirations, we accordingly make sacrifices and adjustments to pursue them. We plan our lives around our chosen purpose, so an adaptable planner that addresses those needs is vital. 

Among many other valuable thoughts in this vein, Steven Covey teaches us that "we become what we repeatedly do." He is a parent of the celebrated FranklinCovey planning system, which I have pulled from in creating my own template--tracking what I "repeatedly do."

Let me be clear: 
micro-managing time is NOT the goal, 
but creating a habitual way of existing that serves us IS.

"Habits are there 
in order that we may clear out of our minds 
the things that can properly be cleared out
so that the non-habitual may flourish."
--Arthur Henry King

To that end, here are some qualities of my personalized planner:
  • I organize my planner pages at the beginning of my A5 binder, just in front of the "Self" tab discussed in my last post. The A5 page is almost exactly equal to a piece of printer paper cut in half, which makes it the right size for easily developing and printing my own inserts. 
  • I like to start with a one-page year-at-a-glance from lovelyplanner.com, which has more printable planner freebies than I can possibly account for! All my journal cover pages carry my name & number (I've lost a journal more than once, but never permanently!) and a yearly motto (which always "just happens" into existence).
  • Following are my weekly planner pages, which I print double-sided, cut in half, and hole punch. I label the top of each week with the month & year. There is an empty column along the left margin of every week, as well as empty boxes at the bottom of each page. I use these for different needs of the day--favorite quotes, a quick shopping list, event/meal planning, to-dos, friends to reach out to, etc. There is a place to track meals each day, simply because I enjoy keeping a ledger of food ideas. There are a few empty slots along the top and bottom of each day. These can be used to track work schedules, holidays/birthdays, daily weather, daily scripture study, workouts--whatever you want to report (the key here--for some of us--is to avoid filling in every slot just because it's empty. Record only what serves you!).
  • Last, I print 12 monthly pages, double-sided, cut in half, and hole punched. These are most often used for travel plans. I also like to plan big events like birthdays and holidays in the empty slot next to its corresponding month. 

Years ago in its beginning stages, my weekly planning simply looked like a to-do list on a weekend entry of my journal. It soon became something I drew into my journal every week so I could visualize the "busy-ness" of the day, then a template I would print and paste in, and finally resulted in a completely new vessel for both my journal and planner--the A5 binder. Even so, that wasn't a smooth transition and I bounced for a couple years between the two. Your planning journey will morph in its own way to fit your needs and interests, but hopefully something here will meaningfully inform that progression.

I can't wait to see what amazing things you do as you more intentionally take hold of your life!


I'll return soon to expound on a few other tabs I've found useful in my binder. 

This post is shared as part of my life's endeavors I wish to document.

Monday, July 10, 2023

Self-Care in a Daybook (Intentional Living: Part 2)



As I promised in my last post, I've returned to expound on the idea 
of writing and living a life "program." Here are some ideas that I've developed and live by.
 
To program your life means to protect and cultivate yourself
This is one of my favorite forms of self-care. Kristy from daybook.blog says it this way: 
"A well-lived life lies somewhere between keeping a ledger of prosperous daily activity and a journal of thoughts, emotions, and observations." 
A ledger/journal, or a daybook, helps you identify what gives you life, seek it, and protect it. Did you get the chance to draft up a personal mission statement? 
Use that as a foundation for the next steps:

  1. What makes you feel alive, brings you joy, fills your cup? Keep a running list of those things and give to yourself from it regularly. Appreciate yourself for these simple joys!
  2. What comforts your aching heart? Do you have rousing scripture verses, warm mentors, or affirming mottoes that carry you through adversity? Make a collection and store them for days when despair clouds your mind.
  3. In what ways do your weaknesses bar your progression? Prayerfully pick one thing to study and improve about yourself, and begin an honest pursuit of that. Some weaknesses imply a lifelong struggle, but one that is worth engaging in! In time, there are other weaknesses which we simply outgrow. Remember you have the potential to overcome! Keep track of what you learn and work it into your daily schedule until, at least in that realm, you become "new" (2 Cor 5:17).
  4. What scripture verses or quotes resound with you or sing to your heart? Make a collection as a way to savor those words.
  5. What questions haunt your mind, as if they need to be settled or managed by you alone? Write them down, and tell them you'll get back to them in time. Sometimes, answers to "pressing" questions present themselves as you go about life, counsel with loved ones,* or reach up in prayer. Other times, their irrelevance and triviality become apparent. The deepest questions often require a lifelong pursuit. Carry them with you, and the quest for their answers will be a defining feature of your life. Never rush to answer questions! Time is on your side. *Because informed love is the purest motivator, I value advice from admirable loved ones over any other option.
2017--perusing my old journals for patterns of growth 

Though this has been years in the making, I currently organize these lists in an A5 binder, divided with tabs. You can buy paper or fill it with printer paper, cut in half (they're basically the same size), and hole-punched. I have also designed some of my own printable inserts.

I find this to be the perfect size for carrying with me. Thus, when inspiration strikes, I am always ready to save it, track it, and try its virtue. I can also easily share it (forgot you were responsible for your meeting's spiritual thought? No problem!). Plus...look how well they organize! As pages fill up, they are readily moved from the hardier "in-use binder" to these labeled ones for the shelf (an issue we'll encounter in a future post).


Everything I've presented so far goes under a tab I label "self." I'll go more in-depth with other tabs later. By way of example, I'll share what this looks like for me (try to look past my sentimentality 😝). But don't forget--this structure is organic and ever growing and changing! Yours will likely put on quite a different face. 
If you use some of these methods, I'd love to see what you create!


Follow links for examples:


This post is shared as part of my life's endeavors I wish to document. 

Monday, July 3, 2023

Personal Planning 🙌 (Intentional Living: Part 1)


Hello! How have you been? What are your days looking like? 

Are they filled with words and actions that agree with you? 

Do your choices serve you--the deepest, noblest you?

I've found this to be a question worth asking myself regularly. Our lives are in constant fluctuation, cuing for priority tweaks and reorganized schedules. Your deepest values will manifest themselves throughout these changes. How will you more intentionally pursue those values as they unfold to you? I'd like to share with you a bit about how I answer that question, today and in future posts.

~~~

Deciding regularly what we most value means we will be able to say "yes" or "no" with confidence that we can stand by our word with enlightening results. 

If you are the producer of the love, service, and presence that you can offer to others and yourself, then your job is to care for your assets: the health and welfare of yourself (the producer) AND the skills and quality of what you offer (the produce). I found that both prioritizing and pursuing those priorities (while rejecting competing interests) is key to becoming a substantial producer of vibrant gifts.

How is this done? The first few chapters of Seven Habits of Highly Effective People give great insight into identifying and writing a personal mission statement. While I recommend reading the book for yourself, here are a few quick thoughts: begin with the end in mind. You're the programmer! Write the program; live the program.

The book Essentialism gives even simpler guidance by prompting three questions: What do I feel deeply inspired by? What are my particular talents? What can I give that meets a significant need?

The author then gives the following equation:
sustainable living = [what you like doing] + [what you're good at] - [distractions]

Think about a personal mission statement. Think about your values, ultimate goals, and the responsibilities you choose to carry. Use examples as needed to get your juices flowing, and write something down. I'll post again soon with more advice for forward steps. Get ready to program your life!

This post is shared as part of my life's endeavors I wish to document. 

Tuesday, November 1, 2022

Pumpkin Chippers

Original recipe from the Baker Mama. Yield: 45-48 cookies.

Ingredients:

  • 3/4 c butter, softened
  • 3/4 c sugar
  • 3/4 c brown sugar
  • 1 egg
  • 3/4 c pumpkin puree (1/2 of 15 oz can)
  • 1 t vanilla
  • 2 1/4 c flour
  • 1 T pumpkin pie spice
  • 1 t soda
  • 1/2 t baking powder
  • 1/2 t salt
  • 1 1/2 c dark chocolate chips

Directions:

  1. Preheat oven to 325. Beat butter with sugar, then add remaining wet ingredients and mix thoroughly. 
  2. Sift dry ingredient and mix into went ingredients until just combined. Mix in chocolate chips.
  3. Drop by spoonfuls onto a baking sheet, about 12-15 cookies per sheet.
  4. Bake in preheated oven for 11-12 minutes. Let cool 2-5 minutes on pan before transferring to a wire rack. Cookies will be a bit floppy, in a yummy way. Enjoy!

Thursday, October 27, 2022

Newlywed

I ride my bike to campus early, crackling over the yellow leaves that cover the roads I know so well. Now in my last year as a student at BYU, these neighborhood streets are full of my own stories and memories. Here is where I used to finish my favorite long run...there I held hands with a boy for the first time...this is where I cried with my cousin/roommates over changing lives and difficult circumstances. 

I love riding my bike up the hill and parking it at the top, so when day is done I can merrily glide back down the hill again, but today I decide to park at the base of the hill and walk up.  I slip off my bike and lock it near Botany Pond, wizened tree branches around me flaunting flush, ruddy fruit. The air is still and full of anticipation, waiting for the sun to surge over craggy wall of the Wasatch Front. Such beauty and majesty seem much too...wise for me today. Here I am--recently married to a man I love and admire, completing my schooling, and in every outward appearance succeeding at a great start to life--and still, waiting. 


There are so many pieces of my life I want to construct and establish, so many hopes that are alive today only because I still have the opportunity to hope for them. Not everything has a place in my future--in the future that I now share and depend upon another to embrace and pursue with me. Am I mature enough to work with that? To move forward in establishing "us," despite the daunting, uncharted jumble of dreams and realities that we do and will face?


Step by step the cement climb bestows the burgeoning smell of ripe fruit upon me, lusciously reminiscent of my grandpa’s farm. I see the tiny crowded farmhouse, too full of family and animals to be a reliable refuge. As kids, my cousins and I would spend our hours outside hiding from our moms and our chores, building forts in the orchard or wandering the fields, chewing alfalfa and petting our favorite milk cows.  I’ve been thinking a lot lately about each of my mom’s ten sisters, and how they must have sacrificed and lost so many of their girlish dreams as husbands...and children...and life...entered their worlds, each with respective needs and agendas. Those aunties took my hand, braided my hair, taught me about rain clouds, and made me food. I was happy and content; I figured we were all happy and content.  Weren’t we?


Where does a life go from here? Do I have the gumption to pursue my compass, in compassionate tandem with someone else? 


I wonder what each of my aunts would say about that. They’re all so weathered and their lives have not been fairy tales. Is that just the way it is? Life’s tough, so press on? I reach up to the branches above me, plucking a soft yellow plum and bringing it to my mouth. I lick the syrupy drop standing where the stem once connected it to the tree. It's sweet...and it's tart. It's a delicious combination. I pop the little thing into my mouth and find my way to the pit, break it loose, and spit it into the bushes. Then I chew, slowly, my mouth washing all its surfaces. The tartness has my saliva working overtime, but I do not spit it out. The sweetness is right there too, and it's enjoyable and delicious--a miraculous gift straight off the tree. Suddenly I know what my mom and aunts and perhaps every spouse and parent, looking at life with honest, faithful eyes, would say. "Life is tough, but it is also sweet. The sweetness is right there with it, a miraculous gift waiting to be experienced. Receive the bite, and don't spit it out."


Turning to continue up my path, I think again about the farm, and how sometimes during sleepovers I would get homesick when my mom and dad weren't there. I'd want to forfeit my plans--to "spit out" what seemed too overwhelming and retreat to the bland safety of what was familiar. My tears didn't help anyone, least of all myself. But there was something that did help: the smiles of my cousins and aunts in the face of my sadness. Their jokes, their laughter, their choices of joy and hope. The tart and the sweet were right there together, under the same roof, and when I chose sweetness with them, sweetness won. It took over my heart. It painted my world. It didn't ignore or oppose my sadness, it just acknowledged and then outshined it. 


I crest the staircase onto campus, breathing deeply from my climb. Faces are everywhere--students headed in different directions, each intent on personal purpose. The sun is still behind the mountain, and what will soon be bright as noon-day remains discolored with pre-dawn dusk. Gray area--just like the gray in my mind. I make a decision.


Trusting in the textbook of the rhythms of the world, I acknowledge the tartness of my human frailties--my flawed perceptions and youthful ignorance. Then I bless the man who married them, basking in the sweetness that he accepted this challenge with an open and committed heart. This combination of emotional flavors truly is delicious, and I step into the Joseph Smith Building graciously. The door closes behind me, and outside the world is bathed in streams of light as the sun finally conquers that mountain-climb...to morning.


This post is shared as part of my life's endeavors I wish to document.